Bride Hunt or Maid Hunt
"Oru Paatu Paadein"(Sing a Song) uttered an old but formidable Mami,a card carrying member of the Mamiland, quite a busy group that stays inside the house only as long as their husbands do. The life of a Mami revovles around husband and kids, but the context differs with the axis of the earth. Mamis cook sumptuously for their husbands and kids in the mornings, gossip unendingly their neighbor's about husbands and kids in the afternoons and cry uncontrollably about Chitthi's( Sun TV serial) husband and kids in the night.
My friend, his family, Mami and me had come to inspect( colloquially "check out") a girl from a typical Iyengar neighborhood. Her life, his life might be decided in the next two minutes, I am almost as excited as watching a boxing bout in the thirteenth round. Suddenly out of nowhere this Mami, whom I had presumed all along was like me-someone who had agreed to be a part to this public dating exercise just for the sake of the delicious food that will be served, audaciously asked this three word sentence. Woe betide anyone who took it as just a three word sentence because in Mamiland it is really a camouflaged barometer of the girl's cultural upbringing and readiness to the marriage market.
By the time, the girl cleared her throat, my friend had adjusted his collar a million times and was just about ready to go into a duet with her. I was feeling sorry for this poor guy who was going to mortgage his carefully constructed life to this one minute of madness. The setting with him eating the Bhajji and sipping
his coffee transmitting amorous signals made me think of a slaughterhouse where animals are ruthlessly guillotined after feeding them with a tummy full of food.
At this moment, I was feeling like an unwanted intervention in a family get together but my friend's father, who I had always thought was way more pragmatic than my friend intervened. "God Save(d) the Queen" was my immediate reaction(brought up in a country which would have supplied most of the Queen(s) jewellery collection, I have a natural aversion for the Queen and "God Bless the Queen") The stoppage in play was due to the Dad's unwavering dedication to garner attention for his son's education and qualification. Uncle (My Friend's dad. This is how I refer to him although I would love to call him by his pet name "Cheemachu". ) began by saying " My son did his Graduate studies in America" which did not surprise the girl even a vee bit. A Centum in Mathematics, IIT, Graduate Studies in the United States, San Jose, Microsoft were all carefully arranged furnitures in the dining room of a TamBram and show me any deviation from this pre-conceived set, I show you something wrong in his genes. Mr. Cheemachu continued in his baritone voice about my friend's apartment to his car to his savings scheme. Everybody knew where he was getting and I was listening in rapt attention to finally see the price tag on my friend, whom I had considered was not worth more than a dime.
I wouldn't want to elaborate beyond this point about what happend. The parties could not strike a deal for the merger and we lived another day for some more Bhajji and Kesari. I heard that this kind of pattern matching is called "Maid Hunting". How aptly named- I might anger some feminists by agreeing with whoever called it "Maid Hunting" but the reality of the matter is that often times the feelings of the women are sabotaged. I hope that the utterly disgusting and business-like Dowry is totally eradicated. If you respect your future wife, kindly feel free to Campaign against Dowry and have the logo on your marriage invitation.
"Oru Paatu Paadein"(Sing a Song) uttered an old but formidable Mami,a card carrying member of the Mamiland, quite a busy group that stays inside the house only as long as their husbands do. The life of a Mami revovles around husband and kids, but the context differs with the axis of the earth. Mamis cook sumptuously for their husbands and kids in the mornings, gossip unendingly their neighbor's about husbands and kids in the afternoons and cry uncontrollably about Chitthi's( Sun TV serial) husband and kids in the night.
My friend, his family, Mami and me had come to inspect( colloquially "check out") a girl from a typical Iyengar neighborhood. Her life, his life might be decided in the next two minutes, I am almost as excited as watching a boxing bout in the thirteenth round. Suddenly out of nowhere this Mami, whom I had presumed all along was like me-someone who had agreed to be a part to this public dating exercise just for the sake of the delicious food that will be served, audaciously asked this three word sentence. Woe betide anyone who took it as just a three word sentence because in Mamiland it is really a camouflaged barometer of the girl's cultural upbringing and readiness to the marriage market.
By the time, the girl cleared her throat, my friend had adjusted his collar a million times and was just about ready to go into a duet with her. I was feeling sorry for this poor guy who was going to mortgage his carefully constructed life to this one minute of madness. The setting with him eating the Bhajji and sipping
his coffee transmitting amorous signals made me think of a slaughterhouse where animals are ruthlessly guillotined after feeding them with a tummy full of food.
At this moment, I was feeling like an unwanted intervention in a family get together but my friend's father, who I had always thought was way more pragmatic than my friend intervened. "God Save(d) the Queen" was my immediate reaction(brought up in a country which would have supplied most of the Queen(s) jewellery collection, I have a natural aversion for the Queen and "God Bless the Queen") The stoppage in play was due to the Dad's unwavering dedication to garner attention for his son's education and qualification. Uncle (My Friend's dad. This is how I refer to him although I would love to call him by his pet name "Cheemachu". ) began by saying " My son did his Graduate studies in America" which did not surprise the girl even a vee bit. A Centum in Mathematics, IIT, Graduate Studies in the United States, San Jose, Microsoft were all carefully arranged furnitures in the dining room of a TamBram and show me any deviation from this pre-conceived set, I show you something wrong in his genes. Mr. Cheemachu continued in his baritone voice about my friend's apartment to his car to his savings scheme. Everybody knew where he was getting and I was listening in rapt attention to finally see the price tag on my friend, whom I had considered was not worth more than a dime.
I wouldn't want to elaborate beyond this point about what happend. The parties could not strike a deal for the merger and we lived another day for some more Bhajji and Kesari. I heard that this kind of pattern matching is called "Maid Hunting". How aptly named- I might anger some feminists by agreeing with whoever called it "Maid Hunting" but the reality of the matter is that often times the feelings of the women are sabotaged. I hope that the utterly disgusting and business-like Dowry is totally eradicated. If you respect your future wife, kindly feel free to Campaign against Dowry and have the logo on your marriage invitation.
