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2/12/2005 

Marooned with just Miller Light for company

I have been bit by the WB_KD2.3 bug. I guess it was because of the shitty browser that I used by mistake. Microsoft, how can somebody even think of such a name for software company... this is a good name for a softwear company. Imagine microsoft undergarments with windows... doesn't that sound appealing...

[The Sud Devil stands on the top of the roof and shouts "PLEASE STOP USING MICROSOFT INTEERNET EXPLORER". HAIL FIREFOX]

I went to Folsom, California this Sunday to watch the super bowl with my friends. Folsom reminded me of Coeur D Alene in Idaho without the lake. The Super Bowl was a bloddy dampener as well. Donovan McNabb just screwed it up.
____________________________________________________________________________________

Donovan to T.O, the ball is airborne and T.O is about to grab it out of thin air and the ball is intercepted. There is no coverage on T.O and there is no one in the defense nearby. A hand with black gloves stooping down from the blimp catches it and flings it far away from the stadium. The ball explodes in the ocean and thus thousands of people are saved..... The savior, dressed in snazzy designer costumes, jumps down from the blimp and turns around to reveal his face to the wide applause of his audience and he grabs the refree's microphone and says "Main Hoon Na"..

The cheer girls who have been languishing along the sidelines resting thier tired butts, run to the middle field and line up next to our man and break into a song

"Ek Ghaoon Me EK Kissan Ragatha Ta
Woh DO Pondatti Shaadi Pannatha
Shalini, Shivani, Sadhana- TEEN Ladiki Pethatha
Mein aur CHAR dost next ghar pe aatha tha
Mein shalini ko PANCH time propose pannatha
CHEYth time woh Kissan se complain pannatha
Kissan SAATH baar maaratha
Mera dil AAT piece tootatha"

and thus begins "Main Hoon Na- Part II" . Our hero changes clothes on the fly and even does Janet Jackonesque, Salman Khanseque body show.

So here is my story for the second version.....

Unlike most sequels, the knowledge of the first version is not necessary to see the second version. In fact, if you don't have knowledge of anything that is the best.
Hence I have decided to call it "Main Hoe Na" ... We need to have a tag line to go with the times so

"Main Hoe Na -- Ignorance is such a bliss" featuring King Khan, Sushmita Sen, Aishwarya Rai etc.

After his super bowl saving grab, King Khan is the cynosure of all eyes. Bill Bellichick wants to draft him for the next season but King Khan has promised to his mother that he will never fall for a "chick" other than his mora ponnu living in the "cook" gramam of Tucson, AZ. If you haven't guessed it already, King Khan is the son of Sushmita Sen and the Khan of the previous movie.

King Khan was studying in NDA[Nainapur Delinquency Asylum], when his mom dials him and tells him a long story of how her brother mysteriously died of mouth ulcer and her sister-in-law blamed Sush for the death as she treated her brother to improperly and spicily cooked "kaurvadu". SIL severes relationship with the family and decides to go to her gramam in America named Tucson.

[Ouch, I think it sounds like Singaravelan. Change of story]

Shahrukh Khan decides to play for the New England Patriots....He reports for the fall camps and pattafies Tom Brady, Bill Bellichick and becomes pally with those defensive linemen. He is made starting wide receiver for the next season.

First game of the season, NE facing Indianapolis Colts, at a tense moment, Shahrukh Khan completes a pass and is thrown out of bounds.... King Khan has fallen badly and he raises his head to see a prancing "Aishwarya Rai" as a cheergirl costume. But as it is a practice with our heroes who always swear by the saying"Keezha Vizhundhalum Meesala Mannuvottla", our man gets up and puts a" faking on the moon" like move outside the mainlines while the ball had already been punted to Indianapolis.....

In the meanwhile, one of the spectators try to misbehave with Aishwarya Rai and our man goes to her and says "Main Hoon Na" and he looks at the miscreant and rants "Badmash, TokeBaas, Cheer Gals Ko ko ko ko call girls sochtha kya, woh be ek ek ek ek ek profession hai" and he lifts the miscreants and throws him into the line of scrimmage as a easy prey for New England Defenders. Manning is relieved that finally it is not him who is manhandled by these defenders.

The Indianapolis organization is very unhappy with Aishwarya Rai and she is thrown out of the cheer girls team but she finds a job with the AZ Cardinals organization.

[This was one move which benefitted both organizations as the quality of cheerleaders in both organizations became better]

Within a few months, Aishwarya Rai becomes a part of Carinals organization and she vows to win a super bowl. How she accomplishes it and how Shahrukh Khan helps her by shortchanging Bill Bellichick is the rest of the story.....

I don't want to kill the suspense as I am running out of ideas to end this extremely ambitious and equally preposterous saga of competition, preparation and domination displayed by the New England Patriots.....So ig you have ways to end this story, please write to me...

Cheer Gals Ko ko ko ko call girls sochtha kya, woh be ek ek ek ek ek profession hai

Reminded me of manoj :-)

KD

"Reminded me of manoj :-)" reminded me of chilli chicken and his chicken biryani... He was the greatest proselytizer I have ever seen....Wish he starts his own hotel :-)

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