My 2 Cents & I am ....

Budget, Boobs and Brickbats

If you are a conservative indiviual or my mom or a kid below 18, please come back again tommorow and I promise to write something more conservative maybe about how Lord Rama killed Ravana on the other side of the Palk Strait.

In a few hours from now, "Main Hoon Na" hero P.Chidambaram would have presented his budget and everybody will throw in their opnions including yours truly. But this year, there will be some interesting people who will air their views on television according to this article. . Since the show is on MTV and chennai viewers cannot see it as they are victims of CAS, SUN TV has decided to appease them by telecasting a special song composed by Paravai Munniyamma to honor P.Chidambaram. RAJ TV has always roped in Cinni Jayanth and "ThayirVadai" Desikan to talk about the budget with expert views from "Chittappa" Sarathkumar [ If you are wondering why he is chittappa, because he is married to "Chitti" Radhika]

Jokes apart, what was MTV thinking when it decided to rope in Mallika Sherawat to shed some light on the budget. If you read through that article it says "Younger children have questions about clothes" and I am wondering how can Mallika even answer them because in most of her movies, she is scantily draped and I bet she doesn't spend a fortune on clothes to be even worried about it. Since they have decided to invite her, it might be in best interests to make sure she is dressed with dignity if not, people might actually watch the show in mute and even some good views on the budget by Milind Deora might be lost. I don't want to be over critical of Mallika because in present day Indian politics, I wouldn't be surprised if Mallika is presenting the Indian Budget next year in the Lok Sabha. But one thing is certain, if she presents MPs wouldn't atleast stage a walkout like what BJP did in the last budgetary session.

One good thing to come out of this would be the fact that viewers might finally get to see Mallika in some light as they would have been accustomed to seeing her only when the lights were off.

THALAIVA!!!

Pic Courtesy: www.chandramukhithefilm.com

There are few things in this world that raisese my exectations sky high and one of them is the Rajini film and one other would be Jeppiar's speech in English. Any attempt to address the later would make me an "archa-maavaye-arraikara" expert and I will have to share the dias with Mr. Rangarajan, the director of Chitti, Annamalai, Akka, Thangai, Anna, Anni, Thambi, Periyappa, Periamma etc etc etc.

Rajnikanth is the man who has held my awe even before I learnt ABCD. "Thalaivar" [ which in simple english means supercalifragilisticexpalidocious] as he is called all over Tamil Nadu is a rare combination of style and substance, which everyone in the Tamil film industry from the light boy Muruganandam to Vaiyapuri to Illaya Thalapathi Vijay, tries to replicate and fails miserbaly.

Thalaivar's latest film "ChandraMukhi" is going to hit theatres on April 14. Unlike most other films, the female lead doesn't even matter as the Thalaivar carries the show on its shoulders. In this movie Thalaivar shares the screen space with three huge animals. Naynathara- the elephant, Jyothika- the rhinoceros and Prabhu- the giant hippopotamus and diecting him is the african elephant - P.Vasu, whose only claim to fame was his film Chinna Thambi, a movie in which Prabhu has the body of an elephant and the I.Q of a mosquito and thinks marriages are all about food and not sex. Also, the movie had the "sorrow siren" Manorama [ she was nicnamed achi, only later did I realize that it was the short form of "ada chi"], if we had captured all the tears that she had shed and desalinated it, Chennai will have no water problems for the next three generations...P.Vasu also wanted to cast the great man Chandrasekhar in this movie as a union leader but our man was busy with his daytime job trying to hitch up Muttiah Muralidharan with Madhi Malar.

Coming back to the focus of this post, Rajini- I am hoping that the punch oneliner in this movie will make fans go crazy. Something along the lines of Moondru Mugam or Baasha or Padayappa would make fans like me delirious. Rajni revolutionized Tamil Cinema, whose biggest(pun intended) stars till then were Shivaji and MGR. His movies energized the theme of Tamil cinema, whose audiences till then were used to historic movies or histronic middle class movies. He was the true reason for this "larger than life" hero status and is rightly proclaimed the superstar. "Idhu Eppadi Irukku" said our man as Parattai in Padhinaru Vayadhinilae and announced his arrival in a big way on the big screen.[ his first movie was aboorva ragangal but it was only for a few minutes]] The cigarette flipping act in ninaithale innikum, the rowdy husband in apoorva ragangal, the upright police officer in Mundru Mugam, the devious friend in Mundru Moodichu, the tanglish speaking do-gooder in guru Shishyan, the ever forgetful tamil professor in Dharmathin Thalaivan, the confortational son-in-law in Mappilai, the friendly surya in Dalapathi, the nice hearted milkman in Annamalai, the underworld don in don, the everyday liar in Thillu Mullu, the atukarran in Baasha, the charioteer in Muthu, as a tamer of the shrew in Padaiyappa, a a doting brother in Mullum Malarum, as a struggling patriach in Arilirundhu Arubadhuvarai and the preachy Baba in baba are all stand out performaces by the great actor..

Can't wait for Chandramukhi and prostrate before the man as I did when Baba was screened in Tempe :-)

Pride and Prejudice

I watched Bride and Prejudice last weekend with a lot of pride that it is an Indian movie and a prejudice that it would not be any good. I should actually say the pride part remained intact and the prejudice part took a slight knock. I thought the movie was a decent timepass but it would have been much bigger but for two reasons 1. Music 2. Aishwarya Rai. I am not sure what the heck was the producer thinking when he gave the music direction to Anu Malik for a Hollywood musical. The dude doesn't have a clue and the weakest part in the musical was the music itself. I am sure even Deva would have done a better job than Malik. I think the movie would have been a better success if they had handed over the reins of music to A.R.Rahman

Coming to the second part, Aishwarya Rai. She looks good in the movie but there has been deliberate attempt to push her into the limelight ahead of others in the movie that is including Martin Henderson, the hero of the movie and she has fallen flat. As the main character of the movie, she should have delivered a much stronger performance. If she was expecting Hollywood to come knocking at the doors after this effort, I am sorry Ash - "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride" and I also hope that she picks up her socks before her other Hollywood movies. As a Sushmita fanatic, I would have prefered her dazzling presence in saris than Aish.....

Here is a long story that appeared about India in an Arizona newspaper. I haven't had a chance to read it but I should say the movie atleast will dispel some common American prejudices about India.....

Hooray for Bollywood!

[Special Note: The Last Blogger made a tongue-in-cheek remark about dentists and ice a few days back. His words might really come true. I am feeling a tinge of pain in my upper gums.... Kari naaku da unnaku]

New iPods to cost less

This is a juicy and quite an inviting offer from the newsdesk this morning.

The Oscar goes to....

I watched The Motorcycle diaries last evening. I have been wanting to watch it for the last six months but kept missing the movie and finally 5 days after the DVD release, I managed to grab a DVD and saw the movie. The movie chronicles a motorcycle journey from Argentina to Venzuela that would revolutionize the thinking of Che Guevara, a communist leader in the cuban revolution. I think both the lead players- Gael García Bernal, Rodrigo De la Serna - have put in a tremendous performance. The movie is in Spanish and is sub titled in English. The movie is in running for The Oscar for best adapted screenplay.

The movie strangely reminded me of Anbe Sivam, a throbbing movie in which a communist and a capitalist become bed-fellows due to circumstances and the movie walks you through their minds as they travel from a flood hit Orissa to Tamil Nadu. The self-centered capitalist eventually starts thinking outside the box and contributes his bit for the society. It is indeed a good piece of work in Tamil where it is rare to find anything offbeat. I am sure some of you will point out that the movie was a remake of a popular Hollywood comedy but to transfer these movies into Tamil and make it culturally relevant is a challenge in itself.


It was quite a journey le='border:0px;padding:0px;background:transparent;' align='absmiddle'>

It is a Man's world?, is it so??
Many a time, you are left wondering whether it is really a man's world. The weaker sex is no longer weaker and were never weaker. Here is a forward that I received from a friend today which is just an unbelievably funny and relvant read. Guys who have girlfriends will find it so truly true.. :-)

____________________________________________________________________________________

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. from the guys ...
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, We meant the other one.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Water

I beckoned the waiter for "Water" and so did the American dude coochicooching with his blonde girlfriend. The Thai waiteress brought us both the water and it was noticeably different. My ego started pricking me and I called her again and asked her to add whatever was missing in my water as opposed to the white dude's. Although this was not a classic case of racial discrimination, it qualifies as vintage act of selective indifferent action against people of particular nation. Most Indians around the United States prefer the water served in restaurants in a particular fashion and this sample space for decision making is definitely pretty comprehensive but not exhaustive. I belong to this class of Indians who prefer it the other way and hence I got pretty pissed when the water served to me was conspicuously different. A fact that irritated me even more was the prejudice in the decision making process of the waitress. She somehow assumed that Indians of all land prefer their water bland and that prototyping angered me.

So what was the special addition to the water???? . "ICE" is the answer. Most natives of the U.S. of A drink it with ice and most Indians always ask for "water with no ice" and hence the restauranteurs assume that all Indians drink it with no ice and these days you are not even asked, when they serve you water. They just serve you without ice. Whenever this happens, I always signal out the waitress and ask her to bring me a new glass of water with ice... So much for a cheap thrill....

Snoop - Da Top Dawg

I have spent the last few weeks just feasting on one man's music - Snoop. Man, he is good. His lyrics are so damn liberating and for once, I feel the singer is speaking my
language. If you have a chance please listen to this brother.... Snoop just kicks ass!!!!

"da da da da daaaa
it's tha motha fuckin' D oh double G (Snoop dogg)
da da da da daaaa
You know im mobbin' with the D.R.E " - from snoop's smoke weed everyday



U mi man 

For the record

This photograph shows my allergy to the shiny thing that flashes and also validates the comment I had left about my waistline in the previous posts' comments section...This was in 2000...



Big monies for the person who finds me.... 

My Photo Phobia

Nope it is not the fear of light.It is my fear of photographs. I am allergic to the camera from either side of the lens. For a long time, I did not know how to react to them and I literally used to give the photo clicker the coldest stare possible. So somehow, cameras and I never shared a great degree of romance. Over the last few years, my behavior has changed a little bit as I am treating these cameras more like I would treat "high maintenance but mostly sexy" receptionists and administrative assistants- you know you cannot handle them but at least smile at them... So cameras have brought out a smile from me in the last couple of years.

As I was getting over the fear, one particular photograph made me go into the shell again... Another friend, who I always believed suffered from a similar fear and me were asked to share the frame space with a famous celebrity and we are more than happy to pose right next to him with a wide smile. The celebrity's stuff had to be moved to his vehicle and since he had obliged us with a snap, we decided to return the favor by helping with the move. This was the one decision that we regretted. What followed was a 3 hour ordeal which took took so long inspite of the involvement of 10 other people.....

I guess that was the lesson learnt and allergy continues to haunt me even today but to a lesser degree....

Here is the famous photo....


Carkit, Pc.Sircar and me 

Love you All

Love is a beautiful four letter word. There is a special feeling of warmth you experience whenever you exchange love. Valentine's day may be a much hyped deliberate advertising/media gimmick to push the sales of greeting cards but in all the hoopla there is a strong undercurrent of people exchanging their love and affection for each other. As the world stands today, love, affection and friendship are in scarcity and this is definitely a good occasion to profess our love to one and all across the world. So, to all the wonderful people who come to my blog either by choice or by mistake, I love you all....

Here is song which was composed during the Vietnam war and is also a part of the Forest Gump soundtrack and it is just incredibly sung by Jackie De Shannon

"What the world needs now is love, sweet love
it's the only thing
that there's just too little of
What the world needs now
is love, sweet love,
no not just for some
but for everyone.

Lord, we don't need
another mountain,
there are mountains
and hillsides enough to climb
There are oceans
and rivers enough to cross,
enough to last
'til the end of time.

What the world needs now
is love, sweet love
it's the only thing
that there's just too little of
What the world needs now
is love, sweet love,
no, not just for some
but for everyone.

Lord, we don't need
another meadow
there are cornfields
and wheat fields enough to grow
There are sunbeams
and moonbeams enough to shine
oh listen, lord,
if you want to know.

What the world needs now
is love, sweet love
it's the only thing
that there's just too little of
What the world needs now
is love, sweet love,
no, not just for some
but for everyone.

No, not just for some,
oh, but just for everyone."

THINKING LONG AND HARD


Me Suffering from constipation.. Before people start calling me gross I meant "CONSTIPATION OF THOUGHTS"  

I don't want to resort to scatalogical humor to get rid of my contipation of thoughts, earning brickbats from all comers to this blog.. :-) :-)

Marooned with just Miller Light for company

I have been bit by the WB_KD2.3 bug. I guess it was because of the shitty browser that I used by mistake. Microsoft, how can somebody even think of such a name for software company... this is a good name for a softwear company. Imagine microsoft undergarments with windows... doesn't that sound appealing...

[The Sud Devil stands on the top of the roof and shouts "PLEASE STOP USING MICROSOFT INTEERNET EXPLORER". HAIL FIREFOX]

I went to Folsom, California this Sunday to watch the super bowl with my friends. Folsom reminded me of Coeur D Alene in Idaho without the lake. The Super Bowl was a bloddy dampener as well. Donovan McNabb just screwed it up.
____________________________________________________________________________________

Donovan to T.O, the ball is airborne and T.O is about to grab it out of thin air and the ball is intercepted. There is no coverage on T.O and there is no one in the defense nearby. A hand with black gloves stooping down from the blimp catches it and flings it far away from the stadium. The ball explodes in the ocean and thus thousands of people are saved..... The savior, dressed in snazzy designer costumes, jumps down from the blimp and turns around to reveal his face to the wide applause of his audience and he grabs the refree's microphone and says "Main Hoon Na"..

The cheer girls who have been languishing along the sidelines resting thier tired butts, run to the middle field and line up next to our man and break into a song

"Ek Ghaoon Me EK Kissan Ragatha Ta
Woh DO Pondatti Shaadi Pannatha
Shalini, Shivani, Sadhana- TEEN Ladiki Pethatha
Mein aur CHAR dost next ghar pe aatha tha
Mein shalini ko PANCH time propose pannatha
CHEYth time woh Kissan se complain pannatha
Kissan SAATH baar maaratha
Mera dil AAT piece tootatha"

and thus begins "Main Hoon Na- Part II" . Our hero changes clothes on the fly and even does Janet Jackonesque, Salman Khanseque body show.

So here is my story for the second version.....

Unlike most sequels, the knowledge of the first version is not necessary to see the second version. In fact, if you don't have knowledge of anything that is the best.
Hence I have decided to call it "Main Hoe Na" ... We need to have a tag line to go with the times so

"Main Hoe Na -- Ignorance is such a bliss" featuring King Khan, Sushmita Sen, Aishwarya Rai etc.

After his super bowl saving grab, King Khan is the cynosure of all eyes. Bill Bellichick wants to draft him for the next season but King Khan has promised to his mother that he will never fall for a "chick" other than his mora ponnu living in the "cook" gramam of Tucson, AZ. If you haven't guessed it already, King Khan is the son of Sushmita Sen and the Khan of the previous movie.

King Khan was studying in NDA[Nainapur Delinquency Asylum], when his mom dials him and tells him a long story of how her brother mysteriously died of mouth ulcer and her sister-in-law blamed Sush for the death as she treated her brother to improperly and spicily cooked "kaurvadu". SIL severes relationship with the family and decides to go to her gramam in America named Tucson.

[Ouch, I think it sounds like Singaravelan. Change of story]

Shahrukh Khan decides to play for the New England Patriots....He reports for the fall camps and pattafies Tom Brady, Bill Bellichick and becomes pally with those defensive linemen. He is made starting wide receiver for the next season.

First game of the season, NE facing Indianapolis Colts, at a tense moment, Shahrukh Khan completes a pass and is thrown out of bounds.... King Khan has fallen badly and he raises his head to see a prancing "Aishwarya Rai" as a cheergirl costume. But as it is a practice with our heroes who always swear by the saying"Keezha Vizhundhalum Meesala Mannuvottla", our man gets up and puts a" faking on the moon" like move outside the mainlines while the ball had already been punted to Indianapolis.....

In the meanwhile, one of the spectators try to misbehave with Aishwarya Rai and our man goes to her and says "Main Hoon Na" and he looks at the miscreant and rants "Badmash, TokeBaas, Cheer Gals Ko ko ko ko call girls sochtha kya, woh be ek ek ek ek ek profession hai" and he lifts the miscreants and throws him into the line of scrimmage as a easy prey for New England Defenders. Manning is relieved that finally it is not him who is manhandled by these defenders.

The Indianapolis organization is very unhappy with Aishwarya Rai and she is thrown out of the cheer girls team but she finds a job with the AZ Cardinals organization.

[This was one move which benefitted both organizations as the quality of cheerleaders in both organizations became better]

Within a few months, Aishwarya Rai becomes a part of Carinals organization and she vows to win a super bowl. How she accomplishes it and how Shahrukh Khan helps her by shortchanging Bill Bellichick is the rest of the story.....

I don't want to kill the suspense as I am running out of ideas to end this extremely ambitious and equally preposterous saga of competition, preparation and domination displayed by the New England Patriots.....So ig you have ways to end this story, please write to me...

A Message that I got today

AB-ve blood is urgently required for my husband's uncle, Mr. C.Venkateswarlu who is scheduled to undergo a major cardiac surgery on Tuesday, 15th February 2005, at Care Hospital, Hyderabad(India). Please contact one of the following for any details.

+91-40-27061620 (Ms. Satya)
+91-40-27678888 (PP: Aditya/Valli)
+91-98865-40627 (Ram Mohan, Bangalore)

Do circulate this message widely. Thanks for your time.

Best regards,
Pushpa (+91-98866-85896, Bangalore)

STRESS TEST

My Manager sent this to me... The dude kicks my butt with work but he is good...

___________________________________________________________________________________

The attached photo has 2 almost identical dolphins in it. It was used in
a case study on stress level at St. Mary's Hospital.

Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are
identical. A closely monitored, scientific study of a group revealed
that in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical, a person
under stress would find differences in the two dolphins. If
there are many differences found between both dolphins, it means that
person is experiencing a great amount of stress.

Look at the photograph and if you find more than one or two differences,
you may want to take a vacation.




JUMPING DOLPHINS le='border:0px;padding:0px;background:transparent;' align='absmiddle'>

Sex, Schooling and DVD
"Edhukkuda Intha Kandravi Ellam Ezhuthara" ( "Why are you writing such rubbish?") poohpoohed my mom after reading my last post. In India, sex is still a taboo word and it doesn't surprise me at all that it evoked that kind of reaction from my mother who probably couldn't clearly comprehend the other innuendos to sexuality that creep into my post once every two lines....

Coming back to sex and sex education in India, I think it is vital that we expose the GenerationX to some of the nuances as it is important for them to be aware of such an important part of human life. I think Human Resurces Ministry should make sex education a necessary part of the curriculum[ I can hear Bala Thackeray mouthing some obscenties at me] so that we can make them ware about AIDS, Sexually Transmitted Diseases and even population explosion. Is Mr. Arjun Singh listening????. The sex education would actually help in atleast nullifying the sleaze and vulgarity portrayed in Indian cinema these days....

I need to give a parting shot to this post with the wisdom of Jeff Murdoch, the unpralleled guru of sex humor

"Fact of life: the longer a man doesn't see a woman naked, the more he turns into a giant hoover pig."

Jeff, the world would have been a horrible place without a character like you....


[Sudden Halo Around my Head: A friend of mine, Carkit, keeps writing about porn and he has been using Adsense. I guess he is getting rich through all those ads that appear because of that magical four letter word and no wonder he keeps writing about it. My prediction is that he will be the next HUGH HEFNER.]

When I was really young, I perceived *kissing* as sexual behavior and I was even under the impression that it might lead to pregnancy- a belief that was born out of my exposure to too many Tamil movies in which the hero and heroine kiss, they move the camera to the sunflower, they break into a song and at the end of it they have a baby. So I did think that kissing is the necessary and sufficient contact to breed babies.

The perception changed when I was about 11 years old. A gentleman two years older than me explained the process of propgation of generation through reproduction and thus I have that "halo" around my head. But after all these years, 'Indian wives bring sex out of closet' proclaims Indian Express.

As I read through the article, I see "An overwhelming 96 pc of the subjects considered sex an important aspect of life. While vaginal intercourse was the desired sexual behaviour for 56 pc women, 47 pc desired kissing, 42 pc foreplay, 29 pc mutual masturbation and seven per cent oral sex."... 47% desired kissing as sexual behavior and yet the article screamt that Indian wives bring sex out of the closet....

Amazing yet true are the marketing gimmicks of the media....

Also read, Amit Verma's take on this......

The Mahatma - His Life was his message

Jan 30 was Mahatma Gandhiji's death anniversary. Over the last couple of decades, many people have started doing Gandhiji bashing as their daytime job. Most of these are armchair intellectuals who just make noise and do very little work.

Mahatma Gandhiji, to me, was the greatest human being ever to lived on this planet. It is truly unbelievable that this frail man believed in "non-violence", something that was not the basis of any other liberation movement around the world and made the whole country rally behind him. His Satyagrahas( truth-seekers) puts to shade to the violent and hugely unpopular methods adopted by some of his contemporaries like Hitler etc.

Even when Hitler's methods were tasting a little bit of success, Gandhiji never swerved from the path he had constructed for himself. He was a man of such remarkable integrity. His tolerance and his understanding of various aspects of human emotions is nothing short of impeccable.

His life was indeed his message. A message that held/holds/will hold relevance even 57 years after his death. The universality of the man has captured the imagination of many an individual

EPICA AWARDS

No more Tsunami Stories

Ever since Tsunami struck Tamil Nadu, there has been numerous false alarms. People have been terrified and have believed some baseless rumors that Tsunamis might reoccur on full moon day, new moon day etc. AID Chennai in partnership with Eureka Education Network have come out with this 16 page
booklet that basically explains Tsunamis in great detail through a language that can be understood even by a neo learner....

I have learnt more about Tsunamis reading this book than what I already knew...


Tsunamis for Kids...